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The New Single Woman
E-Question: How do you think you are different from your mother?
Send your response to Gregg Millett

E-Q Responses:

My mother was a good woman who went from her father's house to her husband's "house". She had no independence. She was told that when she got married she had to leave her job (at the GE) because she had to make room for a single woman or a married man. Married women were like chattels without any real independence. When things got rough for her at home, she went to her parents to ask for help. Her father told her that in essence "she made her bed and now she had to lay in it". No solace there. I witnessed this and vowed that this would never happen to me. I took the bull by the horns and created my own independence. I never took guff from any man. I now am with a wonderful man and have been for 20 years. We agree and often disagree but this never gets in the way of our love. Hugs in the morning and hugs at night wash a gentle feeling over us. As long as we respect each other and each others feelings it works. That's what my mother never had!

My mother never worked and I have worked since I was in High School. I had 3 children and worked while they were grown up. I had a babysitter for after school where my mother was home when I got off the school bus. I think that it was easier when my mother had children in many ways as there were family around that took care of us.

I don't cook for everyone the way my mother did!

I'm much more independent than my mother, more willing to take risks and try new things. Our upbringing was very different. My mother was put in foster care and abandoned by her family when her father died. I was raised with both my parents. I got to wear jeans to school she did not. I like social activities she does not.

I inherited my mother's good nature and sense of humor, and her altruistic ways; but there's no way I would have ever put up with my father for a spouse!

Definitly women from today are totaly diferent from my mother's generation, Her generation was dedicated to care children and husband. We have many more choices.

For many of us, we grow up saying how we will be different from our mothers. As children we yearn for time with her; as teen-agers we want nothing to do with her; as young mothers we appreciate her help, but not her suggestions; as more mature adults we realize just how similar we are and that it is not so bad to have discovered our sameness. Moms teach their sons and daughters so much through love, security, and life lessons (or lack thereof). Once
she 's gone, there is no replacing her, but she will always be with us.

Our moral values are the same but I don't think that changes with the generations. At least it shouldn't change. I'm more hygienic than she is. We've come a long way in this department. My cooking is also a lot different. I don't fry everything and use a heck of a lot less fat in my cooking.

I'm more of a free thinker than Mom is. She was brought up in a generation of discrimination and I don't believe in that. I more carefree with my money as well. But, then again, Mom went through the depression so it makes a big difference on how we view money.

I'm very much different from my mom although my moral values are the same. I changed this cycle of how a person is raised. I had my children in my 30s so I had to be at their level. I gave them more leeway but not to extremes. My cooking is also very different as I don't use too much fat or greasy things.

I'm more outgoing than she was as at that time they were very reserved and talking about sex was a taboo subject in my home. Today, I see my children as being different because of the things I thought them. When I was being raised, children were to be seen but not heard. With mine, I changed that to listen to what they had to say and I still do this to this day.

I am very different than my mom. I cook different. I don't believe in beating my children. I give them the chance to make mistakes and learn from them. I have much more patience than she ever had. I help when I am asked. I never pry into their buusiness or personal lives. Especially now that they are grown. I never tell them what to do now. I did as children but if they did the opposite they learned from the mistakes they made. My boys
are good boys. Never been in trouble, have good jobs, nice homes and families. They love their mom too. So I must have done something right.

I'm mostly different from my mother. I worked outside the home for 38 years as well as bringing up my family of 3 daughters.

My mom was shy whereas I am very outgoing. Nothing sexual was never mentioned in our home. I on the other hand brought up my daughters the total opposite within reason. To this day we can talk about anything and everything. Our moral values are much the same, having a very religious upbringing. My mom did have a big heart and was a very strong personality. I feel I'm much like her there.

Our cooking is different, my mom was a great cook but liked to fry a lot of her food whereas I don't like grease, fat.......I bake or grill. So we do have similarities as well as differences.

In a way yes and in a way no. women are the same. I remember talking to an older aunt and she was saying how she used to sneak out and meet boys behind her dad's back. Or they would sneak a smoke or drink etc. I think they are different because more are out of the house and working now. Before the man brought home the paycheck and the woman kept house. Now both are working. They did have female workers all the time, but I think more more women are worried more about their careers than families.

Todays woman is more independant and self sufficient. Unlike my mother, I work and don't depend on others (anymore). I do not expect things to be handed to me either.

I'm not that different from my mother nor was she that different from hers. My maternal grandmother was university educated at a time when few women attended. She met her husband at university which is where I met my ex-husband. She managed to maintain a happy marriage and raise 3 daughters. My paternal grandmother met her husband at work. She worked full-time until she was well on into her 80s, also married, and she managed to raise 3 sons. Both my grandmothers' husbands predeceased them by many years but both of them remained completely self-sufficient until the end of their lives. My mother has been working full-time along side my father since my brother and I started school. She still works full-time. I attended university and have been working full-time ever since. I don't remember a time when my mom wasn't wearing slacks and my grandmothers wore them too although they all wore skirts/dresses to church. The biggest differences with me, I'm divorced, no kids, and I don't go to church but my brother is still married, apparenlty happily, and has kids. His wife is very similar to my mom. She has gone back to work now that the kids are all in school. So I don't see any big differences in my family across three generations.

When I was growing up in the city, it was almost like having multiple mothers. I can only remember a couple of mothers working, and the rest of them always seemed to know what was going with every kid on the block. If I or anyone else did anything wrong and weren't caught by our own mom, surely it was reported by one of the others. Every mother knew each other and whose kid belonged to whom.

I think I am way more open than my mom. I dont feel the need to hide my true feelings, I know Mom kept a LOT inside, trying to fit the "Donna Reed" Mold. I know that had to be sooo stressfull.

Many in my mother's generation did not work outside the home. In all my growing up years I remember coming home after school one time that she was not there. Sad but true my children came home more afternoons that I was at work than I was at home. Today's woman is such more self sufficient. Unlike my mother I can spend money on something I want and not have to answer to my husband. Things are more equal in that both people work so both people do things at home.My husband can cook do laundry and clean..I don't remember my dad doing a dish while my mother was there.

My personal opinion is that in my mother's era they thought they needed a man to be complete...and my era we know we can do it alone........we may not want to but we can if we have to. Woman today raise children alone and do a good job..in my mother's day it was not right to have a child and not be married or to be a single parent. I think my mom thought she got married and no matter how bad it was she had to stay. Even when I was in high school if you got pregnant you got married it was not a choice..You just knew that was the way it was......and today I think young people get married because they want to not becaue they "have" to.

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