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Microwave Relationships
with Bill Nelson and Judy Benson

In our fast paced society we've become accustomed to quickly getting what we want, when we want it, to instantly satisfy our needs and desires. We have fast food restaurants, fad diets, to quickly lose the weight that we gain from eating at the fast food restaurants, and the greatest invention of all time..., the microwave oven, which can provide us with a hot meal in 5 minutes or less!

Sometimes we go through our relationships with the "microwave" mentality. Making assumptions or commitments, after knowing a partner for only a short period of time.

Question 1:
How long do you think it takes to get to know someone, before you feel that your relationship could work?

Question 2:
Are there specific traits that you try to look for during this period of time?

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More E-Question Responses:

I knew Don for a year, I had a secret crush -- isn't High school fun......but it took him a while to realise I was right for Him....I knew pretty quick, but, my knowledge is limited here. I havent dated in 31 years and then I was NOT. Ms Popularity

Well I have to say that both of you just know, whether it's right off from the start or further down the road.

I think I knew within the first few months it was right but it took time to be certain that it was not an illusion..

Hmmm, I think a person has to be with someone for at least 6 mos. before they really get to know someone. Sometimes we don't really show our true selves in different situations until at least then. For myself, I have a cut-off time, if someone doesn't know what they want out of the relationship after 2 yrs. then it's time for me to split. I think that's plenty of time to know each other and know whether you both want the same things or not. If you don't love me by then, you'll never love me. In the last 10 yrs. I've had enough of those experiences.

Speaking from past experiences, and jumping into it wayyyyyyy too quickly..young and foolish..****Sigh****...I would now go extremely slow. Even if it took 2 or 3 years. I want to know THEM...really know them..their good and their bad habits...lol! and he can learn mine. I'm in no hurry for any of that at the moment for sure. Got a full plate here!

I'm thinking that this isn't really a time issue.. I believe that it is an issue about being ready to be in a relationship.. cause if you aren't willing to give it your all then you aren't ready to be in one. It takes two!

It all depends how I feel..I have always known, right away. I go with my gut

First and most importantly, you cannot love another until you truly love yourself. If you cannot sense this in your partner, then it shall take longer for your relationship to work...if at all.I am not one to believe in a specific time frame to feel that your relationship could possess further potential. However, I do believe that age, wisdom and experience has a great deal to do with this recognition. If both parties are within the same point in their lives, then I would suppose it would take less time.

Speaking personally about myself...
I know that wisdom gained through age and experiencs has definitely offered a deeper awareness and realization while in the midst of a relationship. I am not willing to compromise in certain aspects and characteristics of my partner. I have my likes, my dislikes, my liberty and my boundaries. Those I expect to be respected...as I do his.

In all honesty, I ponder...
Is it even possible to answer such a question?

E-Question: How long do you think it takes to get to know someone, before you feel that your relationship could work?

Send your response to Gregg Millett

I do believe that it takes a long time to get to know anyone enough to have a friendship with that person.

It would depend on the people first. I strongly believe that a couple should live together for one year before making the final commitment to marriage. Hey, if you can live with each others different moods, different tastes, etc, then you have a good chance of having a long lasting relationship.

Personally, I don't think there is a definitive answer to this because various people are looking for different things in a relationship, some love, some money, some security and some just for companionship........so I will say.......who knows, only those individuals will know.

I feel it depends on the two people involved.
But in terms of time, I say 6 months or more ought to give the two involved an idea of whether the relationship will work or not and if it is worthwhile moving forward.

In my case, I am very cautious about such things, so it takes relatively long before I can feel that it could work.
However, when I do it is a very strong feeling.

I think that it is different for everyone, but like you I am very cautious. I have been burned to many times and lost to much. Just listen to your heart and give it time. If its right you will know.

You know I never really get involved answering the e-quetions but this one is right up my alley.I met a man online 4 months now...we talked for about a month before we met. Even as i was talking to him on line, I felt and instant connection. When we met I felt like I had known him for a long time. If you would have asked me about this before I met this man. I would have told you that the way I was feeling was crazy. Even now I am not sure I understand it. But one thing I do know is how I feel about him, both my heart and mind tells me that this is right. We have so much in common and share the same goals and values on life. We have talked about marriage -- something I never thought I would be doing again. Sometimes I think that we have to follow our hearts, sure I might get burnt and there is a small part of me that worries about that, but almost everything in life has a risk. Anyway that is my 2cents here....I guess it all has to be based on the person/persons involved and has to feel right.

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