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Mars and Venus Groups decided that the following queries (from John Grey's game) indicated the strongest gender differences (you'll have to decide for yourself what they are): When a woman says, "You're going to wear that?" a man hears A man scores most with a women when he If I learned that my sister's fiancé had been unfaithful, I'd When a woman talks a lot about her problems, she is Arguments with my partner are usually The most dangerous conversations to have with a woman are about A man prefers to It's most important that I The most inaccurate stereotype about women is that they When it comes to being upset the following generalizations were offered: Men often seek advice; women just talk. Indeed men go into their caves and women will seek out a friend. Women will usually talk with another women; when men come out of their caves they will often talk with a women. Both genders will sometimes "shut down" but don't go to bed angry! The final question of the night was: Do men prefer sex that is: More E-Question Responses: Male: I'd start off by going for a run along the riverfront -- a nice slow run with the intention of thinking out my problem and trying to take a look at it from all views. If I didn't figure it out or just needed to talk it out, I'd probably find someone to talk to. If it were an emotional kind of a problem, I'd probably seek out a female friend. There's nothing like a nice bottle of wine, a nice cozy place and some great conversation. If it was a guy kind of thing, A bottle of beer while working on the car or while holding a fishing rod. Heck, I might even talk to the dog. He's a great listener! Female: I'd most like to be with my best friend...he's male...but I have two close female friends who have been here for me in past. I used to like time to get away on my own but now would rather he was there with me. Female: I would probably go for a walk with my dog and think things out for awhile. Then I would more than likely talk to a close friend about things. I guess it's always good to talk things out. Male: Definitely alone --go for a walk & talk myself through it ..maybe have a word with god. Male: If the problem has to do with anything outside of
our relationship, she is always my first person to discuss it for we do
tackle it from all sides, weighing everything out.........if it has to
do with "us" in our relationship, I will mull it over, reasoning
the why's and then we both discuss it together and not heatedly but as
a discussion, I won't say that sometimes we do get a bit excited but that's
only our passion at play....we both have always been able to lay it on
the table, put the gloves on and simply talk.................I don't take
personal problems to people outside my family, to me it is a burden that
I will handle. Female: It depends on what I am upset about. If it is
something that needed some kind of action from me, I would prefer to be
alone to sort it out. If it is something that just upset me and nothing
I can do to make it better, then I might just call a friend out for some
company, have tea or a game of tennis! I won't be talking about it with
my friend though, I will forever be the happy-go-lucky gal to my friends...to
the world! Female: I'd say most times I prefer being alone while I analyze the situation. However, it depends upon the reason for which I'm upset. But then again, I'd like to simply be held in the arms of a man as I cry myself into a calm not needed him to fix anything but just hold me (although it hasn't happened for a long long while). I also have a very dear friend (my sis-in-law) who's absolutely wonderful at listening and catching me as I lean upon her for advise. Overall though I'd have to say...Alone Female: For me it depends why I'm upset. If I'm upset
with my closest gal pal or family, I talk to my male best friend. But
if I'm mad at a male, I'll talk to a gal friend. If I'm hormonal, I don't
want to be with anyone but my teddy bear. And, if it's about work then
I will talk to either my male or female friends at work, it just depends
who happens to be available at the moment, though usually I end up talking
to the both of them either together or separately. My mother was like that, too. She'd say something and the damn would burst! I guess that's what mothers are for! To let us cry the "owie" away. I tend to hold back my tears with my best guy friend because he just unravels when someone cries. He SO can't handle it. But there is another friend here at work who is so calm and controlled and nurturing that oddly all he has to say is, "Well, would a hug help?" and I just bawl. Sometimes it is good to bawl. Just after hours. If I am hormonal then even my stuffed animals are scared! When I get hormonal only a Bette Davis movie (preferably where she does great harm to some man), a hot bath, scented candles, and a slow drip IV of White Zinfandel will do. Oh, and hot as hell tacos followed with a Ben & Jerry's Rocky Road chaser. Male: Firstly, I reckon I'd say with a female friend; however, when I do get too upset I tend to yell and scream and so on make a total "ASS" of myself. So there are times that I would rather be alone, and then at times I turn to a very dear little sister. She always seems to know how to deal with things and gives me a totally different perspective on it. Male: There was a time when I would call my mother without
giving it a second thought. I can't call her anymore, but then it's been
a long time since I've been upset too lol. Female: I'd have to say alone without a doubt...I keep
so much inside and get depressed and withdraw from everyone for months
at a time (most of you have run across that at one time or another). I'm
a very 'inward' type of person and have to force myself to talk about
my problems though I'm in my best element when I'm there for others without
having to talk about myself, some think that makes me a bad friend. I'm
not hormonal at all and emotional very little...if I express an emotion
it's almost always anger or love...hot and cold, black and white...but
I'm an Aries and an opinionated female. Female: with my significant other. Female: a. with a female friend Female: a. with a female friend cuz most men just don't "get it", Female: First I like to be alone, then after I've given some thought to it, I like to talk to a female friend. It seems that if I talk to a male friend, he generally thinks I am upset for nothing. I like to have my feelings validated. Male: Alone on the open road -- just me thinking in the open spaces. |
E-Question: When
you're upset would you most like to be Female: I prefer to be alone and think things out and after that, a friend - regardless of gender. A friend is a friend is a friend! Female: It depends on what I'm upset about and who the friend is. In general, I would probably prefer to be with a woman friend if I'm upset because I think there's a better chance she'd be a good listener, would better understand and could help me think through it. Men will often jump to wanting to "fix" it before I finish expressing how I feel about it! In other situations, it might be more meaningful to hear a man's point of view. If I'm really really upset, I usually choose to be alone, partially because it becomes more difficult for me to reach out. Female: My answer depends on what I am upset about and whether or not another person might have an interest/knowledge of what is upsetting me. Female: I think I'd rather be w/ a female friend. First, I don't have any good male friends and the one I used to have was uncomfortable when I discussed intimate things. Any men I have ever dated didn't get the "listening thing" as in, I'm upset and just want to vent now so please just sit there and listen to me and offer comfort like, "yikes, that's awful, I can see where you'd be upset, I'd be upset too, etc, etc, etc". Men I have been in contact with ALWAYS WANTED TO FIX "my problem". I would love male feedback but only if I ASK for it, as in, "now that I'm done venting, what do you think?" I really don't think MOST men get it that we don't want or need them to "fix our problems" as in when we are upset. We just want a sympathetic ear and/or shoulder, a friend to just be there for us. Female: I am most comfortable confiding in a male friend. If you start telling another female they usually tell me their problem before I finish with my own. My male friends are very supportive. Female: A female friend because I have always shared deeper feelings with female friends. Female: It depends. If upset is angry - with a female friend - you can vent and they really listen and empathize. If I'm hurt or depressed - alone. 'Cry and you cry alone'... who wants to be around anyone when they're like that? I don't care to burden others with my misery. Male: When upset, I usually like to be alone, however a female friend can have a calming effect Female: Over the years I have learned that my female friends are truly my best friends. I would chose to share something I was upset with them first. You always know you'll get a true opinion. Over the years I have found that although most men are good listeners, you must screen them for intentions. Men are generally not very good listeners unless, of course, there is an MO, which, if they are listening to you that intently, there is. (Ask their wives.) As I become older, I connect more with my own gender much more. Maybe that is because we become less competitive with one another. I'm not sure. Female: I would like to be with a male friend as I could get a big hug as it alway feels much better from a male. Male: It depends on the problem I'm dealing with, whether I turn to a male, female, or neither. For a mechanical/house problem, I'd probably turn to a male friend; for an emotional/people issue, a female friend; and some things I handle alone. Female: Depends on what has me upset i suppose.... Generally
I would prefer to be Female: I seek out female friends/family when I'm upset because they don't think they have to fix whatever has upset me. Male: I don't think it would matter whether you're alone or with someone. I'd say that it could be either. Female: Unfortunately I most likely turn to work because that's about all I do these days! Female: For me, it depends on who upset me, and the situation.
But 8x outta 10, I would call my best girlfriend up. She always makes
me feel better after we talk. Female: For me it really depends on the situation I am
faced with. At times I would talk with someone and at other times I would
"crawl into my shell" like the Cancer Crab that I am and take
a book or something to work on with me. Female: It would be a male friend for me, that being my brother. We're very close and he does the same if he has a problem, I'm the one he calls. He's been calling me a lot lately! Female: It would depend on what I am upset about. Some things that upset me, I would rather be alone to sort it out. If it's things that upset me to do with my partner, than I wish to be with him to talk it out. Although if I am really, really upset, I will take time to myself first then sit with him to talk about the situation that made me upset in the first place. Female: If I were upset with my Teddy bear, then I'd want
to be with my twin. If it's not Teddy bear that is upsetting me, then
it's he's who I want to be with! I usually don't want to be alone when
I'm upset; I almost always want to talk about it... Female; Alone Female: When I'm upset I like to be alone for awhile to calm down then I will talk to a friend doesn't matter if its male or female just someone that will listen to me. Male: I'd prefer to be with a female friend...after I have meditated on the problem awhile and came to terms with it and made peace with myself. Female: Most men I've known in my life just want to fix
the problem for me, rather than listen, which seems to come naturally
for most of them (the trying to fix); bless each and everyone of them!
However, I would like the choice as to whether I care to vent or think.
Either way I hate it when my feelings are invalidated with some callous
or insensitive remark. Such is life. Most of the time, I keep my thoughts
to myself. Female: I don't think it makes you a bad friend Misty.. I think it depends a lot on the situation an the way you were raised.. I know I still don't do enough of it because ultimately close friends like to be able to help you out once an awhile.. I got accused of that also I try a little more than I used too, but I'm always afraid that if I open up and tell all that the dam would break and I'm not sure I'm strong enough to fix it!. |