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Love at First Sight We started the evening with a group rendition of "Some enchanted evening you may see a stranger … across a crowded room … And somehow you know …! There is surely a romantic thread in our culture supporting "love at first sight!" Krystal then presented the ideas from the book Love at First Sight, by Suzi Malin. The book presents three concepts that may underlie the phenomenon of "love at first sight." The concepts are: Gregg challenged Krystal, a photographer, to select harmonic/echoistic matches for two male and two female volunteers from the fifty participants in the room! The four couples paid their $1,200 matching fees and happily left the room - just kidding!!! But everyone seemed to think that the matches were indeed "harmonic." In general there was intense disagreement about the concept of "love at first sight" and many points of view. The room was "two-thirds" non-believers and one-third "believers." A few of the arguments were: Love is much more complex than a feeling of initial attraction. From the movie "Big Fish" - He says, "I love you!" She says, "But you hardly know me." He says, "I love you! I have a lifetime to get to know you." The notion of "sight" as visual is much too simple. We believers see motion, interaction, emotion and soul. Men are more drawn to caretaker images (usually their mothers) than women are. As one grows older, one grows wiser, and is less influenced by the superficial. Unfortunately "love at first sight" is often only one-sided. We met in an Irish bar, the only two Italians. It was love at first sight! It's like a cover on a book - doesn't tell you much about the book. More E-Question Responses: It's a romantic thought; everyone hopes it will happen to them. I believe that it exists, and even that it happens, but I know it's more rare than anyone wants to believe; the reason being, it doesn't usually happen to BOTH people at the same time. It's usually one or the other, and their pursuit MAY end up in a relationship, that even lasts a long time, but the idea of two people seeing each other and knowing at that instant they were meant to be together -- VERY rare indeed. Romantic love is something that develops (or not) as we get to know someone. There may be intense attraction at first, but true love involves knowing the whole person, inside and out, and that can only happen over time. It also seems to me that claiming love can be instant minimizes it and the one we claim to love. I think there can be an attraction at first sight, although that first "sight" may be online in chat. After getting to know the other person through written words or a voice on the phone, the foundation can be made for real love. In my opinion, only after two have met in person, get to know each other, hold hands, and see and feel the love in each other's eyes, can love happen. Absolutely -- but only in the sense that sight can mean
many things not just physical. I think it's more in the meeting of minds
and hearts along with the physical attraction; something immediately clicks
and "watch out" from there cause it's gonna be one heck of a
great ride through life. I believe more in "true love" a deeper
one, yes, for true love has to be there first and foremost. If you have
to "work" to develop true love then was it there to begin with?
Don't get me wrong, a relationship always has to have two people working
to keep it strong, but I feel that if the two work on what attracted them
in the beginning, and always hold true to who they are, and grow together
and not separately, then it will always blossom into a stronger love.
If one falters, then the other surely will as well but that's where communication
is so important. No would be my answer, not "Love at first sight"
because there is much much more on the inside. To me love at first sight
is and can be but only on the surface, simply a physical thing unless
you pursue deeper. I think that love takes a while to happen. You can be
attracted to someone but I don't think you can love someone unless you
really get to know them. I think it's important to be friends first! I believe in lust at first sight, but love? no I don't really think so. I believe that there can be an attraction at first sight,
although attraction doesn't necessarily have to be at first "sight".
Two people can be attracted to each other by their words, both spoken
and written. Once that attraction is made, where two people "click",
the love can follow. I do believe there can be a very strong connection at
first sight in the sense of an almost instant meeting of mind, heart and
soul. It's difficult to explain unless you have experienced it. But "love"
at first sight? No. Only a strong connection. I worked out on the shop floor of a fairly large factory and there was this young lady who worked in the front office. It's hard to put into words how I felt every time I looked at her. Her beauty was overwhelming. I tried to hide it from her but I could have stood there all day looking at her from a distance. She had the most perfect smile, her beautiful lips, her tiny little nose, but I was especially attracted to her deep brown eyes. I worked back on the shop floor and really had no business being up in the office, other than to get some supplies, like pens and erasers. I'll tell you, I had so many pens in my desk drawer from going up just to say hello. She must have thought I was stealing them. I was mesmerized by her looks. We dated for about a year, and the whole time we were together, I never lost that feeling she gave me whenever I looked into her eyes. From the first day right up until the day we parted, the feelings were the same and the effects lingered long after it was over. It was like I was in heaven and it was the most romantic year of my life, but it just wasn't meant to be. Is that LOVE? That was the closest I've ever been to being in love by my definition. I'm a total believer in love at first sight. Whether it's a love that will last, that's a different story. I just know that a glance is all it takes and you'll know. You'll know that you've been looking for that person your entire life. I unfortunately have no idea what that feels like! Yes, I believe in love at first sight. But is that love
enough to last a lifetime? Only time and commitment will tell that. |
E-Question: Do
you believe in love at first sight? Perhaps lust at first sight, but not love. Now that I have become a bit seasoned, I believe that love comes from learning about and sharing with another, the joys, the sorrows, and finding the links that connect (unless, of course, you are talking about your children, then without a doubt, it is love at first sight!!!). Yes I do believe in Love at First Site. I think that if the chemistry is right, two people can make eye contact and just know they are meant to be together. Magic is in the air and sparks fly. I definitely think there can be a strong attraction to a person upon meeting them that can be deeper than physical. Is it love?? Well, I'm not sure. Love means so many things to different people, and certainly I believe there is a deeper level of love that comes from knowing a person well and having shared experiences. Or is that simply an earthly sort of attachment and interdependence that has nothing much to do with love? On the other hand -- I love geese and flowers, and mountains and the sound of running water. And I can't claim that it's because of knowing them intimately really. If one thinks of love as a combination of respect and appreciation, of care and concern for another living thing, than I would say we can love at first sight. You can be attracted to someone by the way they look or the way they act; however, to fall in love you have to get to know someone, and this takes time. YES. I have fallen in love only twice and it was at first sight - karma -- I don't know. Both relationships lasted, so to speak -- #1 marriage for 23 years; #2 long-distance/long-term relationship for 15 years & still going but with no commitment. In some ways, I think the love at first sight complex has limited my chances for another real fulltime life partner. Love at first is possible, depending on what "sight", and "love", means. It takes much more than "sight" to truly love. The quality and depth of a person cannot be measured by "sight". I may entertain lust with a "sight", but never a solid, long-term commitment. Imagination and reality quite often are in contradiction. I do not believe in love at first sight. One can be very attracted but how can you instantly know a person's values and character? That takes time. No. Love is what happens sometimes after getting to know
someone over a I know there is lust as first sight! Love? That takes time. You can certainly feel "chemistry" with someone at first sight -- those butterfly in the stomach moments - but that's not love. Yes! -- and long lasting too. My parents experienced it and had a very happy 45-year marriage until Dad's death. Definitely! It's usually at the second sight when love goes away. Love consists of many components. I believe since physical
attraction Yes, I definitely do believe in "love at first sight" with your "Soulmate". But what I am not sure of, is there more than one Soulmate in a lifetime? NOT to believe in love at first sight significantly restricts
a person's sense of hope, purpose and vision. I think it's sad that people are waiting for a lightning bolt to strike so they don't have to do any work or put in any effort to get to know someone. Most of the people I've met who have this attitude have enormous fears of commitment. They need this instant soulmate connection to happen so they can be SURE. Since its unlikely to happen, they get to avoid emotional intimacy. If they have any doubts or reservations about the other person during ANY part of the relationship (especially early on when everyone has some doubts) it means that's the wrong person and they move on. What a great system for staying free for the "perfect soulmate" and avoiding commitment. What a terrible system for actually finding real love and intimacy, which ALWAYS involves some compromise and time. Love at first sight is the beginning without which there would be no rhyme or reason. It is just plain the magic or the glue. Some have other ways but I truly believe, in the short-term, it is the magic and the glue that allows for the relationship to develop over the long-term. I don't believe in "love at first sight." I think true love is something that grows and becomes stronger in time. Love at first sight to me is more like an attraction or lust. How about love at first chat! |