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Friendship, Relationship, Commitment?
E-Question: Assuming you have been involved in an exclusive sexual relationship for six months, as you look to the future, what do you consider commitment?
Send your response to Gregg Millett

E-Q Responses:

I believe, if a person has been involved for six months in a sexual relationship, that long a time proves that there is something there. It could be attractiveness, love, likeness, desire, but at least there is something there, to allow it to keep going for that period of time. So what I consider a commitment, is a conscious decision, you make when you look to that person, as all what you need, both very satisfied with each other, and willing to spend the rest of your life with that person. Also you have to make sure this commitment has the chance to last. I look at a commitment like a building. It needs a strong foundation in order to stand any future difficulties. First; it has to be from both sides (one side commitment will never last). So I don’t consider one side commitment as commitment. Second; both sides have to have the ability, and the will to care and honor. So in my opinion, a COMMITMENT is promise to be faithful, caring of, and honoring that person.

Marriage -- anything else is keeping your options open.

Honey, I've got a commitment BEFORE it gets sexual!

I remember planning a trip to Italy together and wondering if the magic would last or if conflict and incompatibility would arise due to such a complex adventure together and break "the spell." Turned out that the trip expanded and deepened all dimenisons of our relationship.

Fulfillment emotionally, physically, intellectually.......not just simply a relationship partner but a best friend as well...

Trust is a must, working to make things better for both parties and enjoyment, pleasure and Happiness

Honesty -- true to one partner only -- me!

Trust and respect

Trust and respect also

Love, the whole kit & kaboodle

Besides love, communication is the biggest one for me

Hhmmm, I would say the previous 6 months would qualify as commitment, your question is not all that specific, leaving MUCH to be interpreted, is the real question - what is the next step? or - is there going to BE a future? or 1 of about 100 other questions you can reason there would be on the subject of commitment. The answer is only possible between the two people in the relationship. For me, I would prefer to be married, in that type of scenario, but it's not necessary for me to continue in the relationship, or the commitment. Some people need that piece of paper to convince themselves that they ARE in a committed relationship. I don't need a piece of paper to make my word any more valid, or stronger. If I'm in; I'm in. It's that simple.

The commitment has to be understood clearly by the two involved. The commitment toward monogomy is the minimum commitment one should have to another. By six months I think the couple should know if they want to have it be a "long haul" relationship. It doesn't require paper to make it more meaningful to me. Expectations that others place on a relationship like this can be stressful and it is important to focus on the fact that the relationship is, after all, solely between the two people involved.

For me, the first step toward commitment is exclusivity/monogamy. The expression of a commitment to attempt to form a bond/union. From there love should develop. If and when that happens, with those two things in place (exclusivity and love), I consider myself to be in a committed relationship.

Since I have never been in a non-married sexual relationship...I am not very equipped to answer this question. But here goes my ideas. Once you have been exclusive for six months, I would think committment would include combined living, combined finances, combined goals and combined schedules. For me, it would include marriage, not as a guarantee, but as a symbol of the combining of lives.

We do live in a society that truly acknowledges 'trying something out' before you make that committement. I think it is a bit sad because it gives all of us an easy out if something doesn't go our way. It is best I made the committment first, because I had the attitude of 'making it work' no matter what. That approach certainly got me through some years of selfish desires coming in second to a combined effort at marriage. I have been married for nearly 26 years now. All of these ideas are mine. I would not impose my views on others, just as I hope they wouldn't impose their ideas on me. Thanks.

Guess it would be if there was honesty, loyalty and the love needed to keep the relationship growing, then possible future plans

After six months of being in an exclusive relationship I think the commitment is established. You are both committed to the relationship. Looking toward the future depends on what you want from a realtionship. Are you ok with the commitment as it is or do you want the piece of paper? Personally I don't think the marriage license makes much difference. I have watched people that are married and the commitment to being exclusive is not there. This is only my personal thoughts. I was commited to my husband and he to me for 6 years before we took the step to marriage. All that changed was my name!

Noun: commitment
1. The trait of sincere and steadfast fixity of purpose
2. The act of binding yourself (intellectually or emotionally) to a course of action
3. An engagement by contract involving financial obligation
4. A message that makes a pledge
5. The official act of consigning a person to confinement (as in a prison or mental hospital)
Personally, I think No.5 sums it up quite nicely, don't you think?

I think that 6 months of an exclusive sexual relationship is in itself a commitment. I think that at that point, a commitment would be to commiting to continue the relationship, whether it would mean marriage, living together, or even living cross-country relationship & to continue to work together to make it work for both parties. After 6 months, I would think the most important commitment would be to commit to making your partner happy.
But who's talking? I can't seem to keep a man happy for 6 months!

After 6 months if a guy is not willing to go the Whole route -- family, marraige, children, financial planning etc., if you dont dump his butt you are begging to be pooped on! Stop wasting your time...........IF..........thats what you want? If you want to just be able to shrug and walk away too, then I wish you both the best but it's a recipe for sadness and loneliness! But then......it's just my opinion, so do what you think is best for you. If I knew ALL the answers, I would be a TV talk show host!

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