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Coffee Dates
E-Question: What Can You Learn About a Person on a Short Coffee Date?
Send your response to Gregg Millett

E-Q Responses:

A lot! Their values, how well (or not) they communicate, if they are interested in you, if they are basically honest (did they lie about their age or do they make eye contact).

I always go armed with an empty stomach so that if things go real well I am strategically poised to upgrade it to a lunch or dinner date on the spot. I usually make that offer. Her reaction is very informative.

I think for a first date it's great. You can tell a lot about a person in just a few minutes by how they treat a server (do they complain a lot about nothing), how they tip (are they generous), whether they have social skills and manners, can they keep an interesting conversation going, do they hog all the time, do they talk only about themselves or are they genuinely interested in you, lots more...

I can learn a little bit about his preferences in life, as well as a little bit about his political views by the coffee venue he chooses. I can learn if he is at ease smiling, and can tell quite a bit by observing his demeanor-- is he polite to me, the other customers, and especially to the server, and whether or not he tips. If I get really lucky I can tell even a little more about him by seeing his car. I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be happy with a person who drives a gas guzzling supersized SUV or heaven forbid a Hummer! And the bumper stickers ... hhhmm ... does it say Visualize Whirled Peas or GO GW??

The good thing about a coffee date is, that if you don't hit it off, the date can be ended quickly. If you hit it off, you can always order a second cup. It's a public place for meeting someone and there is usually someone in there.

You can learn a little on a coffee date but I'd suggest a three-day camping trip, preferably on a rainy weekend, if your really want to learn a lot.

This would depend on the two people involved, whether they are good communicators, outgoing, etc. A coffee date is not a long time to get to know someone but with the right questions and add a little humor in there one can get to know some very basic knowledge about the other person.

This is the way that I met my husband! We each had time to talk, laugh, be ourselves and the rest is history.

I think that you know within the first minute if there's an attraction or not. If there is then you can learn whether or not there is mutual interest. It doesn't take a long time to know if you would like to continue getting to know one another.

I think a half hour coffee date is time enought to find out if there is interest enough to take it further.

I guess it would depend on the questions one asked. But I think more can be learned by simple observation, does the person seem comfortable, do they interact well with other people, do they look you in the eye, or do they watch everything going on around them? Body language can be very helpful when first learning about someone, but it isn't an exact science either, some people are less than natural initially, like on 1st dates, but its still a good basic guideline.

Body language tells alot about a person, but on first dates both of you are so nervous that you really can't tell much about the person. Better drink the coffee and make a future date for a longgggggggg dinner!

I think a coffee date puts less pressure on both parties as far as not spending a lot of money on the date. But as a first meeting it's a good idea to find out what type of conversationist each of you are. I think you can learn quite a lot about a person. You can find out their likes and dislikes, if you have anything in common with them. You can see what their sense of humor is like. How they talk and the manner in which they speak can be just as important. I had a first dinner date with someone and I found that I didn't like his swearing in every sentence, I found him offensive. Maybe it wasn't fair to him, but it was a turn off to me. Seeing them in person and having interaction gives you an idea whether this is someone you would want to see again. But personally, I like something casual without a lot of expectations.

You may not find out everything you need to know right then, but by observing their body language and eye contact you really can learn alot about them, including a sense of whether or not you can trust them... also, depending on you and the other person, you may just connect right then and stay for several hours chatting, and set up another date at that time...

If it's a new friend/buddy, you can talk about everything under the sun and learn (and share!) more than you may have realized you could, even in one or two hours.

You can learn how comfortable you feel with a person. How they make you feel. Do they treat you the way you would expect to be treated? Do they make you uncomfortable or just plain nervous? Are they too polite or too aloof? That can tell you a lot about whether or not you & your date are going to be compatible in the future!

A coffee date is just as confusing as everything else in the male/female arena.

I love coffee dates because then I'm not stuck for a whole night with someone I can't stand. And if it is someone I really got along with I can always extend the date if I want to. Besides for me I always have to make sure they have good shoes before I will ever go out on a date with them in public!!

In my case, I never had a date where a lady and I had agreed to meet for coffee. The closest I came was when a group of us went for coffee and dessert after a group function. I met a wonderful lady and we got to talk to each other. We found out that we shared a lot in common. To this day we've maintained a good friendship.

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