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www.StrategiesForSingles.com
Can You Protect Yourself Against
a Broken Heart?
E-Question: Do
you have any suggestions on how one can recover from a broken heart?
Send your response to Gregg
Millett
E-Q Responses:
Don't get mad..... get even! No, I guess that isn't a good way even if
it does make you feel better. My solution is to get on with your life
'cause that's what he/she is doing. Don't waste any more time on it. Now,
if your broken heart is because of a sudden death or something of that
nature, join a support group.
You protect yourself against a broken heart only if you don't fall in
love and don't trust anyone!
Yes. It's a four step process:
Step one - Work out every second of your free time until you drop.
Step two - Cry so loud and deep, it will scare monsters back to
where they came from.
Step three- You get a job that only allows you to think about what
your doing. Work this job 16 hours a day so you won't have time to think
about your broken heart.
Step Four - Spend the extra money on yourself or a love one or
a friend to make yourself feel good.
Continue steps 1 through four for two years. At the end of two
years, you will be thin, have extra cash, and forgotten the deep euphoric
feeling of love you could not do without two years earlier. Your self
esteem will be back in tact, and you will be ready to try another relationship.
Your first new relationship will not be filled with the love you once
had, but it's a first step to a new begining. (Good Luck)
Keep busy, but also take time to feel the pain, cry as much as you need
to, share your feelings with a safe person. Time DOES heal. If it has
happened more than once, you already know that.
Give yourself time to mourn the loss, talk about it with close friends
and/or a therapist, reach to God if you have a faith, sleep more if you
have to, slow down rather than get into a flurry of activity, get away
if you can, don't date right away, honestly evaluate what the problems
were in the relationship; esp those you brought into it, reach out to
trusted friends/relatives, don't look for a panacea to remove the pain.
It will take time to heal. Don't "rush" the process.
You can only protect yourself against a broken heart by deciding to live
in a bubble and not take the risk of loving another.
Look for the lesson that comes with the pain, connect and share your sorrow
with someone you can trust and know that time heals all wounds.
Though anger, despair, loss and perhaps a desire for revenge may be factored
into it, find a way to recognize that it's probably for the best in the
long run and that something better and more appropriate is waiting for
you after you heal. Also, question yourself about whether this break up
is a replay because you were repeating old patterns. Recognizing and changing
those old patterns is the best way to avert this in the future.
Just know that time will heal you, and so will a new love. There's nothing
more true than they saying "It is better to have loved and lost than
never to have loved at all". You can choose to focus on the loss
and pain, or the sweet memories of a love that was.
To recover from s broken heart, just keep swallowing these three bitter
pills till you no longer have the urge to cry: phantomine, shebedum,
and imokay.
1. Phantomine: Realize that the object of your love exists only
in your imagination. How can you love a non-existing person?
2. Shebedum: make a list of all her imperfections, exaggerating
them till you are ready to throw up at the thought of her. Include how
dumb she is for not appreciating the truly great you.
3. Imokay: Don't make any resolutions to become smarter or more
careful. Love does not require brains or cunning strategies. There is
nothing wrong with being who we are. You just had bad luck. Carry on!
Great love comes with great risk. If you are determined to protect yourself
from a broken heart, you are committing yourself to a love life of mediocrity.
Trying to find and maintain a relationship while keeping with your goal
of protecting yourself from a broken heart, will lead you to lame results.
Because of the fear of a broken heart, you will inevitably build walls
around yourself, and not allow your heart to open up and truly experience
love in all its grandeur. You will settle. You will accept the relationships
that present themselves,
and not seek what you truly desire.... because, if you did find what you
were ultimately looking for, your fear of a broken heart would paralyze
you from trusting your partner and taking the chances that are needed
in any successful and satisfying relationship.
Only time will heal a broken heart. Try to keep busy so you won't think
about the loss.
Staying busy and be around people because being alone always you to dwell
on it too much......join an activity where people are involved..
Get out more and see as well as talk to people. That's what I'm doing
right now.
Staying alone for long periods of time does not help. Surround yourself
with positive people and get involved.
It does take time to heal a broken heart, much like grieving for it is
a loss.
Be grateful it happened. I'm in the midst of this problem as we speak.
I don't dwell on the past too much, never have and I believe that's the
key anyway. I've taken up some new pastimes which I'm loving. Photography
is now my new passion, and it gives me so much to look forward to and
keeps my mind thinking creative thoughts. I've also signed up for French
language classes, and as soon I'll be speaking French!
Since I along with many other have had my heart broken. I can't say I
am over it but I can say I it has eased. I will never forget the person
who was able to get in close enough to touch it in the first place. Allow
yourself to grieve. Find things that make you happy & enjoy that.
Write in a journal. Talk to your close friends. Take it one day at a time
Time! Time does heal...provided we take the Time. Do not dive into a new
relationship for awhile as your emotions are fragile. Leading your life
through following your emotions can be dangerous! Be with positive people
who support and understand you. And most importantly, listen to you and
let you lean on their "shoulder" if you need to.Get out! Go
to places that offer a slight distraction as to allow your mind to rest.
Go for that coffee or dinner with a friend when you're invited. To clear
your thoughts (mind), write, write, write! Do some journalling. Write
as though you're writing to an imaginary friend. Someone who you can share
your most inner thoughts and feelings with. Then read them a few days
later and see how far you've come. Sometimes your journalling can be great
for motivation, clarity or rebuilding your self-esteem. Oh and you don't
need to keep your writings for a long long while...remember these pages
can make good fire starter! ~smiles~ All this...I share from experience
I've come along way Baby...and You can too!
There is nothing set in stone. You have to fiqure out what works for you.
For me, well I would just find ways to stay busy, try to not think of
the heart matters. I would find friends to hang out with and allow myself
to breath. Its hard to find yourself alone again..to find out that the
time was wasted and that your hurting for that person. But the only thing
I can say is give yourself time. Don't rush into another relationship
right away. The new person won't be the same and you will want that. That's
why they call them rebound relationships. Give yourself time to heal.
When you can think of the person without wanting to cry or break something..,
then you are probally ready to move on. Don't rush yourself or push yourself.
You have to find life for yourself again. I believe with each relationship
we enter into we become one with the person. We change in small ways to
mind the fences to find the middle ground. And when we break up with the
person, we then have to find ourselves again. We have to find out what
we really want and what we wont settle for.
For me.....I think it's talking about it to friends who don't mind listening.
Allowing yourself to feel your feelings, and cry in private. Then try
and do little things for yourself. Do things that you enjoy or give yourself
a little perk because you deserve it.
Time and a good therapist. And, avoid listening to ANY music!
Stay busy with friends and family/ Do things you enjoy. Don't sit around
dwelling on it, that makes it worse, and it's just not worth it. Let it
go.
Time...thats it. It's a slow painfull process...but.....good friends,
taking an interest in events around you dulls the pain and activity!!!!!!!!
Moping just enhances the hurt.
Time and friends!
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